Australia Day Award 2012  / Faye Hawley (Mum)

How lucky am I Darren.....I was lucky enough to be named Volunteer of the Year for Lake Macquarie in the Australia Day Awards...

I realise you already knew that I was going to be the winner as I am sure you had something to do with it.....never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that something like this could come to me.

I have worked hard trying to take the stigma away from Suicide.....it will be a battle that I will undertake until I can no longer be heard. My journey has been hard but I do everything in your name so as to make you proud of me...

I have met many people on my journey & am touched by all their stories...I feel very privileged to think that they could share that with me. I am connected with these people as we are all survivors.

I still miss you every day & will miss you every day until I am reunited with you in Heaven.

Love Always Mum xxx

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Australia Day  / Faye Hawley (Mum)
Oh Darren I have been nominated for an Australia Day Award for Lake Macquarie....I will find out on January 18. We all have our fingers crossed....but whoever receives the award deserves it for the work they have done... Close

Five years on  / Faye Hawley (Mum)

Five years ago today my world crumbled....you took your own life. I will never be the same person again Darren as part of me is missing. I watch all your siblings move on with their lives & wish you were here to see their achievements. I am so proud of the people they have become.

When we meet again Darren after hugging you so tight & giving you all the kisses you have missed out on maybe you will be able to tell me why you left when you did.

I will love you forever & I miss you so...'til we meet again

Love Always

Mum xxx

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One year on.....  / Faye Hawley (Mum)

Today Darren we are one year on from unveiling you on the back of Scotts truck. Has the message got out there......we can only hope & pray that it has. In that year you have had 4313 visitors to your site so people must be reading the sign.

Scott has had people come to him asking if it gets any easier.....he tells them yes.....you learn how to function. His truck has become a real talking point strangers take photo's & people start up conversations....& that Darren is what we need.... "conversations".

Scott has come a long way in the last year Darren he has even bought his own home but I don't need to tell you that because we know you already have the address & have visited.

Keep on doing your good work Darren...

I love you & miss you with all my heart & soul....

Love always

Mum xoxox

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Walk with Us  / Faye Hawley (Mum)

On Sunday May 22 2011 "Lake Macquarie Suicide Prevention & Support Network" was launched into the community.....to do this & also to help raise some awareness of Suicide & Mental Health in our community we held a walk.

People walked from Speers Point Park to Warners Bay & back....once back we had a sausage sizzle & played some music. We had a "Wall of Love" & a "Garden of Memories" both were popular although I myself really liked the garden.

People enjoyed the time together with some not wanting to leave & some asking when we would hold another one.....hmm maybe in twelve months time....it was quite a big job Dad & I were pretty much worn out by the end...we just fell into bed that night totally exhausted.

The day raised over $1300 towards Suicide Awareness.

Love you so much

Mum xxx

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From me to you....  / Faye Hawley (Mum)

If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together there is something you must always remember

You are braver than you believe....

Stronger than you seem....

And smarter than you think...

But the most important thing is...even if we're apart....I'll always be with you...

Winnie the Pooh

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Darren the Celebrity  / Mum

The International Suicide Prevention Conference was held recently in Brisbane & guess who was there......YOU on the back of Scott's truck.

I emailed the photo's of our "Angel Truck" to Prof Patrick McGorry back in September I had no response so I didn't know if he received it or not....well obviously he did.

You were used as part of his presentation.....you appeared up on the screen in front of approx 850 people.....you are becoming quite a celebrity. How proud am I that all those people got to see my baby boy....I cried when I found out about it.....

When Scott put his sign up he had no idea that you were going to go this far.......the very proud & startled voice I hear when I tell him about your travels tells me he is healing at a pace he can manage.

Darren you may end up going Global.....who knows......just where ever you go I hope you have an impact on peoples lives & let them know they don't have to choose the path you chose.

Darren thank you for being my son......love always

Mum xoxox

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Newcastle Road Transport Awareness Day Nov 7 2010  / Faye Hawley (Mum)

Today was another day for us to be able to bring you out into the public that little bit more. Scott entered his truck in the parade to try to bring Suicide Awareness out into the community. Scott & Nathan spent over 15hrs to make sure the truck sparkled.....& that the Angel on the back sparkled also.

Scott was one very proud brother & driver his grin was from ear to ear we couldn't wipe the smile off his face....but then again we wouldn't want to wipe his smile away as we just love to see him smile as we know he is healing.

Lots of people showed interest in the truck & many people took cards so they can come & visit your Memorial Site. We watched people walk past & then back track to read the sign properly.

We all enjoyed our day at the Foreshore catching up with family & friends....& talking about you....our favourite subject. Thanks for the beautiful weather Darren we are all nicely sunburnt....oh well out comes the after sun cream & moisturiser. A great day was had by all.

We miss you so much Darren this is not the way it's supposed to be....me writing on your Memorial Site...you're not supposed to go before me & dad you're supposed to be writing a memorial for us...

Love you heaps Darren & miss you so much more....Dillon is growing up so fast & he is so beautiful...watch over him....

Love Always

Mum xoxoxox

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Not a day goes by that we don't think of you xoxo  / Renee Dodds
It's hard to believe it's been 4 years...if you didn't leave all your great memories behind of the wonderful person you are I really don't know how everyone would have coped. It's been an honour to be a part of all the tributes that have been made for you. The trip to Melbourne for the Memory Quilt, your dads v8 super car drive, Scott's sign on his truck, meetings and many days spent with you...I just wish more than all that you were here with us...Dillon is a great son, you would be proud of the person he has become...just like his dad, maybe a lil too much sometimes"tormenting" is his specialty, remind you of anyone? lol...You would be proud of Scott too he has come so far. You just have a fantastic family that all love you so very very much but you already know that and we will be there with you on your birthday coming up very soon. Not a day goes by that we aren't thinking of you xoxoxoxoxox Close

Four year Anniversary  / Faye &. Brian Hawley (Mum & Dad )

Four years on & we still grieve for the loss of you. Does it get any easier...sometimes. We don't cry as often & our tears are not as intense but we still miss you like crazy & that will never change. We meet new people every day who have suffered the same loss as we have.

We went to your grave today & had helium balloons sparklers & candles again. We all wrote our messages to you we hope you read them all before going off to sleep in your Angel Bed. I'm thinking Jetstar might start to complain soon about the amount of balloons that go over towards Williamtown but hey we can't help that if you are over at Ronene's house a lot...oh & Scott enjoyed the rest of the helium....

We now have you on Scott's truck so when I see him I get to see you also. We have had nothing but positive feedback from your sign. Hope you enjoyed being in "Truckin" Life" magazine we have some ideas on where to put you next...

Not a day goes by that we don't think of you & miss you our world changed for the worse that day as no one will ever replace you....although Dillon & Scott are running a very close level second.

We miss you we love you we need you in our lives...

Love you forever

Mum & Dad xoxox

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Our "Angel" that rides on the truck  / Faye Hawley (Mum)

Scott now proudly displays a sign with you on it on his truck. Scott needed to do something to help other people experiencing grief & or depression. He decided on a sign & Dad & I helped him get it all together. The text was decided on & your usual photo was used as this is probably one of the best photo's we have of you. The sign was made the truck was cleaned from top to bottom & then you were attached to the tailgate....

You were taken up to the top of King Edward Park on Sunday August 1 2010 & "unveilled". We all wore our "Darren" shirts & we had lots of photo's taken. People drove past a couple of times just to read Scott's sign some even stopped to see what was going on it really was a very magical & emotional afternoon..... none of us really wanted to leave we just wanted to sit & look at you....

Scott's truck appeared in the September issue of "Truckin' Life Magazine". He was stoked to say the least & we are all very proud of him. Your sign will help Scott to heal just that little bit more each day.

Scott phones me to tell me when he has had a heap of people pip wave give him a thumbs up or call him on his UHF radio he even has them hang their mobile phones out the window to let him know that they have taken a pic of you so I do get lots of calls & I can hear in his voice that he is so proud of what he is doing....he is one very proud brother & driver.....

We know the sign is working we have had nothing but positive feed back from it people are talking about it & looking for it & this is what we need, people to talk not bottle it all up until it's too late...if Scott's sign encourages one person to seek help then it has done it's job....

What does the sign mean for me.....it means that now every time I see Scott's truck I get to see both my "sons" together one very special son driving the truck & one very special "Angel" that rides on the back helping his brother to heal what more could I ask for....

I love you so much I miss you so much more with each passing day 'til we meet again......

Love you heaps

Mum xox

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Our Condolances  / Dianne Carroll OAM (None)
Dear Faye
I have just read your beautiful tribute to you son. I am sure the wonderful memories you have will help you get through each day. He will always be in your heart and be kept alive with the wonderful memories.

You are right when you say you will never know why there is always the unanswered questions personal guilt and an element of anger.

The answer to your questions will be answered in the love you have for him the guilt is a normal part of grieving and the anger will ease in time. Such a loss is something you never get over it is implimenting statagies to cope.

The Trans-Help Foundation supports transport drivers and their families in crisis and is available for you too... Please give us a call www.transhelpfoundation.com.au

Kind regards
Di Carroll OAM
Founder & CEO Close

Network Day  / Mum &. Dad

Today we went to Sydney for the day to learn more about how to get the word out about Suicide. All our network pages were uploaded to the web so people can find us a little more easily & maybe come & help us to get the word out....it's a great day to catch up with the people we have met through the Networks & find out what has worked for them as far as promoting our tireless work.

We hope you stand proud in Heaven Darren knowing that these things we do by stepping out of our comfort zone may just help someone in need....

Can't wait to see you on Scott's truck...it should be awesome.

We love you so much & miss you so much but one day we will meet again....

Love always

Mum & Dad xoxox

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One year on from the Unveiling of the Quilt  / Mum

One year since the unveiling of the National Quilt for Suicide in Melbourne & look at your site over 2100 visitors...I really hoped you would have 2000 but it has gone crazy...I'm so pleased to see people visiting & reading the story of the real Darren & what a beautiful person he was.

We miss you more with every passing day we have learnt how to function our lives will never be the same. We have some really beautiful memories that I share with anyone who will listen I never give up a chance to talk about you...you were my life...you were my everything.

Huggles & kisses

Mum xox

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Easter / Mum

Remember the easter that you bought home all that chocolate....a great big box full that you could hardly lift & you could hardly fit through the door.....and then all the Ferrero Rocher's....every girl that was on your delivery run got a box of them & we still had heaps left....oh the sweet memories that you have given me.....they are mine to treasure forever Darren.....thankyou...

I love you & miss you so much I hope you are proud of what I am doing in your name.....love always Mum xoxox

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~THINKING OF YOU~  / BECKY..MOTHER TO FFF JARRETT LITTLE (NEW ANGEL MOM )

 

 

 

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Lake Macquarie Suicide Prevention Network  / Faye Hawley (Mum)

Darren I'm going to need a lot of help from you.... I have become Chairperson for the above organisation & I am way out of my comfort zone. People say that I can do it & will be good at it but I just don't know.....whatever I do for Suicide I do in your name for you to keep your memory alive. I need you to sit with me in my quiet times & just ping a few ideas my way....help me Darren to help others....please...I know you can do it....

I love you so much & miss you so much my beautiful baby boy...

Love Always

Mum xoxox

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Dillon's Cruise  / Faye Hawley (Mum)

Today Darren, Dad & I travelled to Sydney to see Dillon off on "Rhapsody of the Seas" for his cruise to New Zealand & other destinations for 14 days. I gave him my necklace of you to take with him so you could enjoy the cruise together. He certainly is one very very special young man that you & Renee should be very very proud of......I know we are.......He is just so you......

Love always

Mum xoxox

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New Years Eve  / Mum

Last night we sat on the houseboat & watched the fireworks for New Year it was very good suddenly I looked up into the sky & I could see a wndow that I know you were watching the fireworks from also....I told everyone onboard to look up & they seen it too...what a magical moment for us all.

Love always

Mum xoxox

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Candle Lighting  / Mum

On Sunday December 13 2009 we went to Maitland for the annual HOPE candle lighting which is done worldwide in association with Compassionate Friends.

The night was extra special as a garden was officially opened in the Ministers Park for all the Children who have left this earth too early.

We had balloons & candles when the balloons were let go yours took off to lead the pack our candles were lit at 8pm & they were placed around the beautiful garden it was a lovely sight to see the ring of light from down here so it must have been quite spectacular from Heaven.....we all hope you & your Angel friends got to see it.

I love you heaps & miss you more....

Love Always

Mum xxox

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