This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one, Darren Hawley who was born in Australia on October 23, 1974 and passed away on September 13, 2006 at the age of 31. We will remember him forever.

Darren was born at Royal Newcastle Hospital, Newcastle NSW Australia.

Darren entered this world on Wednesday October 23 1974 at 11.37pm he weighed 7lbs 14ozs.

With his ten little fingers & ten little toes he was perfect in every way.

There is just something so very special about your first born child.

He was my beautiful baby boy & always will be....

Darren was born when I was just 16 years old & was my life. If there was any such thing as a perfect baby it was Darren. His first word was buba which he said at a very early age. I would repeat it over & over again as we drove along & then out of the blue one day he said it back to me. While other Mums complained about their babies teething Darren virtually woke up one morning with teeth. He was just perfect.

As a little boy Darren was loved by everyone. Darren held a very special place in his Nanna's heart, & could do no wrong in her eyes. He was just so special, so beautiful, so everything.......

Darren has five siblings, Kylie (1976), Debbie (1978), Nicole (1981), Scott (1984) & Lauren (1989). All the kids loved their big brother so much & he loved them, as he would show by annoying the crap out of them. Together they all made a large loving family.

In 1977 we moved to Woodberry it made us a bit isolated but Darren's Aunty Karen would come to visit & take us out....Darren was just over two years old & Kylie was only a few months old. Darren's Aunty Karen owned a little mini better known as the rocket we were able to put Kylie in her car basket in the back seat with just enough room for Darren to squeeze in beside her & the pram was put in between the driver's seat & back seat, it was quite a squeeze but we managed, I can still hear Darren's little voice say..... "we go in the rocket now." it was just so sweet.

Darren was the kind of person that you just wanted to be friends with. His Dad & I had a hard time keeping up with all  the girlfriends & trying to remember their names. Many of these girls came to my door when they heard the sad news of Darrens untimely passing. Just like the rest of us they couldn't believe it.

Darren had a great childhood with many memories which he took to Heaven with him. We all have many memories of Darren which we recall almost daily & we laugh until we cry at some of the antics of Darren. These things are vivid in my mind & it's just like watching a movie, only the credits never roll as there is no end.

One of Darren's party tricks was to turn his eyelids inside out, it was pretty gross but he thought it was great!! I miss all his little antics so much, even though they used to freak me out.

One memory in particular is when Darren was working for us, he was doing the Maitland area so dropped in at home on his way through, he was a bit hungry so grabbed some leftover pie, he quickly heated it up in the microwave & was just about to pour the tomato sauce on it when I caught him & quickly yelled that it was apple pie, not meat......

In his teens Darren tried roller skating, roller blading, go cart racing, snow skiing & car racing.

Darren & his mate Pinky built a billycart & raced it in the Mattara Festival billycart derby at Newcastle University, with second place they made page two of the Newcastle Herald Newspaper. Our family spent the whole day at the Uni encouraging them both & our truck was used to tow all the carts back up the hill after every race, a beautiful spring day & lots of sunburn but lots of fun also.

As a family we spent many weekends at the snowfields, we would all hop in the van on Friday afternoon after work for the seven hour drive. The van would be loaded to the hilt with food, clothes, skis & kids. When we hit the ski fields Saturday morning the kids were all hyped up ready to go, by the end of the day they could hardly walk they were so tired. Darren always followed his Dad, it didn't matter that his Dad took all the advanced slopes & Darren was virtually a new skier, off he went absolutely flying down the slopes. Darren lost control & went head over heels most of the way down, his skis went one way, his stocks another way & Darren flat on his face the rest of the way quickly followed by the St John's Ambulance fellows!!!! Darren got up in his usual way dusting himself off with WOW what a ride. The St John's Ambulance were not impressed & told him to keep in control at all times.

Darrens next venture was to race fender benders at the local Motordrome. He told us he was being given a fender bender & we were like yeah right Darren people just give them away like lollies, but the car turned up, an old Valiant it needed some work but with Darrens attitude & a lot of help from dad it was up & ready to go in no time. For the first race meeting we had to hire a trailer, we attached it to our little ute (affectionately known as Kooee car because of its number plates). We had Kooee car in the park opposite our house waiting to be loaded, but the fender bender would not start so we push started it, Brian was on the trailer ready to guide Darren on, but in typical style the Valiant started & mounted the trailer full throttle, Brian jumped off the trailer & with the weight of the car on poor little Kooee car it takes off through the park with the Valiant & trailer attached & no one in the drivers seat. Darrens Aunty Ronene could be seen chasing Kooee car so she could jump in & stop it, which she did manage to do. We entertained the neighbours!!! Darren raced for one season & was awarded a trophy for the most lapped car.................it doesn't matter where he came we were just so proud that he did it.

Darren loved Christmas & loved playing Santa Claus. He loved to get dressed up in his Santa suit. On Christmas Eve Darren & his Dad would do Kooee car up with tinsel & of course air horns & off they would go for hours around the streets of Cardiff where we lived. Darren would throw lollies to the kids along the way while yelling "Merry Christmas" at the top of his voice. You could hear them all over the place, they would come back in the dark, out of lollies, the air horns just audible & grins from ear to ear on both of them. Darren even did a whole day of deliveries dressed as Santa while I drove our truck, it just happened to be one of the hottest days of December & here he is with all this padding & no airconditioned truck but Darren would not have had it any other way. I can still see Darren dressed as Santa looking over Lauren's cot when she was a baby, it is a great memory for me to keep in my heart. Thankyou Darren.......................

Before we moved to Edgeworth Darren bought himself a Ford Escort Panel Van. It was bright yellow & was affectionately know as the Esky or the Ekky-nort. Darren loved this car, he decided to do it up & put mirrors on the inside roof, only thing was as he was doing this he left some mirrors in the sun, & the reflection from the mirrors set the car on fire.

In 1991 Darren started working for us in our courier business. He liked the freedom of going to different places every day. Since Darrens passing his brother & sisters have told us the things he got up to in our truck, so now we can account for the damage & the breakdowns!

On March 28 1994 Darren became a Dad with his then partner Renee. Together they had a beautiful son named Dillon. I had the honor of being present at Dillons birth, & so was able to share that very special moment with them both. Darrens grin was from ear to ear & you just couldn't wipe the smirk off his face. Renee, Dillon & their family are & always will be a very big part of our lives which is fantastic as Dillon is just a little Darren!! Dillon has many of his Dads traits even his sense of humour. There is a very special bond that I share with Dillon that no one will ever be able to break or take away from me.

One day one of Darren's mates needed to move some furniture for his parents which Darren agreed to do, but the last thing to be moved was the piano, so again Kooee car was used, Darren & four of his mates loaded the piano on a quick rope around it & all five boys standing on the back of the ute playing the piano as it was being transported a short distance, you sure could hear them coming!!!!

Darren was a can do person. He bought himself a Holden Commodore & after driving it for so long decided that it needed a make over, so everything came out of the car, the interior, the engine, even the wiring & it went for a paint job. His Dad & I thought this is great he will never get this thing back together, but with his can do attitude the car did return. It came back with a new roof including a sunroof, a different front end, different back end & a beautiful cobalt blue paint job. Because Darren was colour blind he kept telling us that the colour of the car was purple, the cars original colour was green & he always told us that he owned the brown commodore.  Darren rewired the car himself asking his Dad at different times what colour the wires were. Darren loved this car & was so proud of himself when it was finished as we all were. He really was an unbelievable person.

Darren married in 1996 & not long after started to become distanced from our family. Christmas 1998 was the last time that we were able to share some kind of Christmas with him, & then it had to be on Boxing Day. We didn't expect weekly visits from Darren but just the special days would have been nice even just a phone call. Although Darren was invited to family functions he was no longer able to attend. I continued to buy gifts for Darren for birthdays & Christmas in the hope that one day he would come home. These gifts are still wrapped still waiting for the day that now will never come. Darren fathered two more children in his marriage. These two boys do not know of us & probably never will.

After Darrens marriage he continued to see Dillon for a while, then the visits became less & less until they finally stopped. Poor Dillon didn't understand what he had done. After some years contact was established again, only for the same thing to happen again, Dillon had his heart broken for the second time, no child deserves that, but we all rallied around him again to help him cope with the situation. After this Dillon would tell me that his Dad was stupid & I would tell him no, he is just mixed up but loved him very much & would soon see what he was missing out on.

Darren I wear a pendant with your photo on it around my neck everyday so that you are near me just as it should be.

Darren when you died I bought your sisters all matching bracelets & had them engraved they all wear these with pride. Your brother Scott on the other hand was different so I gave him your 18th birthday gift that for some reason you gave back to me, Scott wears this with pride & has promised that one day he will hand it down to Dillon who we know will treasure it forever.

I know that you are with us all every day as we have all experienced something that we just can't explain, like the doorbell that rings & no one is there or the CD's that just won't work, or for Dillon the Ford poster that just won't stay on the wall, (he knows you are a Holden man).

Our family & friends spent two hours with Darren the day before his funeral, just one last look at you, one last kiss, one last touch was all we could do. Darren I asked the Funeral Director if I could have a lock of your hair & your handprint which they did for me I will cherish these always.

They say that babies choose their parents so Darren I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for choosing me to be your Mum....

Darren made the decision to leave this life. For what reason I will never know. He was & always will be my beautiful baby boy.

Darren I kept you safe in my tummy until your birth, I protected you until you married, now I will keep you safely locked in my heart forever.

Each day is another day without you, but it is a day closer to being with you again. Til we meet again Darren always remember that I love you dearly & I am just so so sorry that you had to go...........

Darren left this world on Wednesday September 13 2006. My beautiful Son must have been so lonely. If only Darren could have phoned us maybe he would still be here today, back with us his family.

Darrens funeral was held at St Mary's Church Maitland on September 20 2006. He is buried at East Maitland Cemetary.

Darren will be honoured this year when his face will appear on a very special Memory Quilt that will be unveiled in Melbourne in May 2009

Darren now appears in the "Life Keeper Memories" book.

Darren's story from the book can also be viewed on the Salvation Army Suicide Prevention Site

www.suicideprevention.salvos.org.au

I chose the Sun Flower for Darren's site as this is the Wesley Missions choice of flower for Suicide.

Please feel free to light a candle or leave a tribute it will mean so much to us, the family left behind to try & make some sense of why someone so loved so beautiful & so precious had to leave so early..............

Please respect our Memories of Darren...please do not try to create havoc in Darren's Memorial Site...

There are groups operating in Newcastle & Maitland to help those of us who are left behind after a suicide for more information please contact me through this site.

For those in the Transport Industry a helpful site is...

www.transhelpfoundation.com.au